Did I truly just read that?
It’s Saturday morning and I’m liking my non-fat blueberry muffin (spil if that’s going to make my jeans getraind looser) and a delicious iced-vanilla coffee from Dunkin Donuts with reserve sugar, reading the St. Petersburg times spil I often do and there it is. Dun, Dun, Dunnnnnnn. the Dear Abby article that made mij drool my three dollar coffee everywhere!
The article is te typical Dear Abby style. The question at mitt is this, lady goes huis to family funeral, woman meets distant cousin, sixth to be precies (whatever that means) now, female and sixth cousin are dating. Chick wants to curiously ask if that is wrong. Spil if that’s not just funny enough, it gets better, much better. Before I read Abby’s response, I am coaxed that it will defianly tell the reader that she should abort ship and not date a cousin of any number. This is not what Abby says my friends. Dear Abby, oh my dear, dear Abby, unwittingly procures hier response right there ter bold black letters, fresh times roman font no less, and I should most likely quote hier so you get the utter effect.
Response: “Sixth cousins are so distantly related that there is no reason why you shouldn’t be a duo if you wish to be. Becoming a duo is an evolution. Let the relationship evolve – don’t be secretive. People who love you should be blessed for both of you.” [February 8th 2008 St. Petersburt Times].
People come on here, throw mij a bone on this one.
The entire purpose behind Dear Abby is to provide advise that one can actually benefit from, or so I thought. This is utter nonsense! Hello, Abby are you there it’s mij sanity I merienda floated around your brain, shall I come back now? Perhaps the Dunkin Donuts coffee Abby gedistilleerd this morning wasgoed mixed with a little incestuous creamer. I mean earnestly, all Westelijk Virginia, brother and sisters dating jokes aside, did someone truly ask this and did Abby truly say, ‘to permit dating your cousin to evolve. ‘ Since, I will most certainly never meet this woman that makes out with hier sixth cousin, I will not have the chance to rectify the bad advice that has bot given to hier. Instead, I will only get to pitifully vent to my Hubpage readers about what I believe would have bot the right advice to give.
I attempt and commit one good deed to a stranger each day. I began last week, I actually think I missed a few days so, anyhow, I’ve determined, tho’ wij’re worlds chic, my one good deed is going out to my fresh found -cousin lovin’ weirdo. Here it is.
Nikalina’s Reaction: Newsflash, THE WORLD IS OVERPOPULATED! There is no need to date your cousin, however distant you care to pitifully explain, you cannot date your cousin. You know how when you get ter your car and there are millions of people around you and the earth is gigantic and something like Ten,000 babies are born every minute (that’s an exageration but you get the point) there are slew of fish ter the sea. You said ter your writing that you asked your doctor if it wasgoed ‘medically okay’ to date your cousin. Are you kidding mij? No, it’s not medically okay to date your sixth, seventh or even eighth cousin. Do you want to know why? No, matter what number you place ter vooraanzicht of that label, the dude is still your freaking cousin! Gross, gross, gross! Okay, so maybe your chances to have children medically te check are all lined up but, did you indeed want to inject your highschool reunion and have to response the question, “Oh where di dyou two meet?” You’d have to say that YOU WERE COUSINS! To merienda again, throw Abby right under the bus, yup, here it comes, vroom vroom, if people loved you, they would tell you that your f’d te the head and you need to not make out with. your cousin! If people that are your friends with are okay with you dating your sixth cousin, there is only a few explanations that I can come up with to rationalize such absurdity. Either they too are rearwards caboose country folk that have never left their one pony town or secondly, they don’t care enough about you to tell you that you are totally gross for dating your cousin.
Take this advise and do what you wish with it. I’m sure ter some areas of the world it is common to date within a family tribe, I get that. I can hear the murmur of those of you religious Jesus thriving maniacs that, wij are all Maker’s children and wij are all related te some style. Yada, yada. sell that somewhere else cause I aint buyin it. On 2nd thought, perhaps I’m missing the grand advise ter all of this. Maybe this is why I’m te my late 20’s, not married, no children and the highlight of my day is writing on Hub-pages? It is because I have not sought out my everzwijn so hot distant cousins spil possible dating material. I voorwaarde go now and explore which of my distant cousins are single. burp, excuse mij, I just threw up te my mouth a little.
It gets worse. I wasgoed doing some research to list some helpful websites on dating one’s cousin and the problems associated with it. Unluckily, Google has too many top hits that are actually just this same pathetic posed question te different words. I knew I should have just brewed my own coffee this morning. breathe.