One Wednesday night not-so-long ago, I wasgoed invited to my very very first charity date auction. It wasgoed a charity fundraiser for youthful Democrats, and tho’ I don’t truly qualify spil “youthfull” and slightly make the cut for Democratic, I wasgoed determined to demonstrate support for my friend (hereinafter known spil Jess), so willing and anxious to sell herself ter the name of politics and charity.
This hub is part of a series on understanding what is a date auction, making the most of date auction rules and preparing to rock the stage so you feel like a million bucks, even if your going rate wasgoed $35.
Date Auction FAQ
- Q: So what is a date auction anyway?
- A: It’s exactly what it sounds like. Fellows, women and of-age sapiens te inbetween volunteer to auction themselves to the highest bidder, usually for charity.
- Q: Isn’t that called human trafficking or prostitution?
- A: Yes, when there’s hook-up (prostitution) or some other forcible service (human trafficking). But thesis auctionees are VOLUNTEERS, not indentured servants. And the charity bit gives buyers and sellers pretty good shield against prostitution. Auctionees aren’t attempting to have intercourse with random buyers, especially when there’s no money te it for them. Buyers can’t expect intercourse – they get a tax deduction instead. The best they can hope for is a civil companion and a Dutch dinner date.
- Q: I’m getting auctioned. What am I supposed to do?
- A: They’ll tell you to do things like pack out your date auction bio, and wear something crimson. But here’s some efectivo advice:
- Don’t just display up.
- Don’t trust the recruiters/organizers/snake oil salesmen to look out for your best interests.
- Don’t trust the auctioneer to get you the best bids.
This is war – you can only trust yourself and the people you bring with you. Keep this fact te the forefront on your brain. The surplus is puny potatoes and wij’ll walk you through the process.
Not all Date Auctions are Made Alike
The Other Zuigeling of Date Auction (not the one I attended)
Thesis are civilized functions with fully-clothed respectable sorts of people loving the novelty of a charitable donation and a free dinner.
The bids are not terribly titillating. Husbands buying wives. Wives buying husbands. Husbands buying husbands. Wives buying wives. (For the chronically PC, just keep switching the terms with beau, gf, handfast, life-partner, poly-partner and friend until you reach relationship-factorial or run out of protestations).
The standard sort of relationships cemented with specie, a nave bounty certificate, the obligatory tax certificate and a feeling of goodwill for participating te community events.
Thesis date auctions sound like joy.
‘Friends with Benefits’ Date Auction. The name says it all.
The Youthful [Anythings] Date Auction held te a Tapkast with Drink Tickets
It’s nothing more than a Meat Market legitimized and flaunted ter the name of charity. You know that thing 20-something’s do, where they drink themselves courageous then fling themselves at each other like elk during mating season? Take a look at Animal Planet, then visit your restringido watering fuckhole on a Thursday night.
The same guys geflirt with the same women te the same scandalous, low-cut, tight-fitting clothing with pretty much the same end-of-night match-ups. Credit cards are the good equalizer, so even the scruffiest dude with more uitstraling than metselspecie can afford the woman of his wishes.
Cat calls and wolf howls are standard behavior.
Thesis date auctions are like train wrecks – the kleintje where the mountain kinks and you can see the cars ter pui crash, but you hope-to-God the destruction stops before it reaches your carriage.
Who Needs to Read thesis Hubs?
** If you’re preparing for the very first type of auction, keep reading for entertainment purposes only. You don’t need to armor yourself against catty competitors or display some gam to metaphorically entice bills into your garter. You just need to smile, love the crowd’s attention, and commence programma your uitrusting for a nice dinner on the town.
** If you’re headed for the 2nd type of auction, but you wish you were headed for the very first, KEEP READING. This is for you.
** If you’re headed to the 2nd type of auction, but you’re well-versed ter showcasing gam and enticing bills, Zekering READING. You are the competition wij’re attempting to thwart. Your bids are consistently high, year after year. You work the stage to perfection and wij hate you. Zekering attempting to learn the secrets wij’re attempting to steal from you. Please and thank you.